FAST, LOOSE AND LOVELY

los·er (lzr)

n.

1.

a. One that fails to win in life as they are a loser.

b. One who takes loss in a specified way: a pessimistic loser; a douchebag loser, who has no social filter or concept of normal behaviour.(retard)

2.

a. One that fails consistently at life because they have no confidence , especially a person with bad luck or poor skills: " are you a loser? dont jump i can help you" (Will Smith)

b. One that is bad in quality: That guy is a real loser, he has no social skills and should go and die.

Hello people who might stumble across my ramblings, this is my first blog, right now i am asking myself some questions why the fuck am i writing a blog? am i some kind of self indulgent art fag? (this is not my term this is what i was described as by a group of young women who i was trying pick up last night.) Do i just have no life? Have i got a problem with alchohol? Am i avoiding my actual studies? (this is highly unconducive to the betterment of myself intellectually)

Yes most likely.

When most peoples emotions are weak, there coping mechanism of one form or another will kick in, this is to prevent oneself from lying in bed all day, drinking copius amounts of coffee, smoking, and listening to bon iver, it is important to be accepting of this stage as it is nessceray for personal growth and recovery however there is a simple way of avoiding or atleast subverting this pointless self reflection. Its really quite simple, just think what will smith would do, he appears to be the perfect human, why may you ask well its a combination of factors.

He is in my opinion the best rapper of the 1980s he promoted radio friendly rap for people of all ages and colour. Marky Mark and Mc Hammer are almost as good except they both exsist under the mighty shadow of WILL SMITH. If Will makes a movie, it will be highly successful, why is this? everybody loves Will he is the 'wholesome guy', a splash of modesty with a dash of confidence and a can do attitude. He is a modern day polymath, except only in some areas, his infiltration into popular culture has been like a virus, sepping into my subconsciousness vis a vis my consciousness. Fuck you Will you wholesome bastard.

Anyway now my terribly uncogent meandering ponder on Will is over, i feel hollow and dissillusioned however not all is lost, all those young strapping lads out there can learn from Will girls like genuinity, so how can you get in a girls pants? i have been doing some research on this for the last two months, i have thought about the merits of physical apperance, this is the first stumbling block, if your the kinda guy that tries picking up in a bar/club, which is most likely as 80% of men fit into the catogory of the 'Hegemonic male', its virtually inpossible to pick up unless you engineer some kind of casual not so desperate scenerio to wither her by imploying your wit and charm as you tell her about you dreams and thoughts on post modernism. so if your ugly you need to convince the girl you have other attributes, like good conversation skills or a massive dick, i dont know how you would do that in a socially acceptable way. however its all sadly very subjective, but you can work with subjectivity every girl has an idea in her brain of her dream boat, aka. tyler durden if she likes a masculine, but effeminate looking male, or the cliche Andrew VanWyngarden type, a creative delicate male with a herion body, who plays her songs and is in an indie band. You need to pry this from her in a casual conversation so that you can preceed to talk or act as said male, which will fail unless you fit the description or you are actually a sociopath and would do something like that, if she likes you 'then your in bra!'if you do not possess all of the plethora of complex and multi faceted desirable qualitys she is looking for, she will detect your lorishisness (that your a loser). Semantics becomes less important with the more alchohol she/you consume, however when you first meet, you will both assess the posibility of sleeping with each other this is where the mastery of language has its advantages, a strong clear voice projects confidence, a wavery little tone projects your real insecuritys and she will know your a loser and most likely heaps bad in bed. i am hesitant to publish this blog as it could be misconstrued that i have actually applied these ideas to the jungle that sydney nightlife is, i assure you i have not i just find it interesting that so much people project a fake attitude/personality. I imagine myself roaming the streets as a modern flaneur just like Guy debord deriving my way around to various bars until i pick up. a males predatoristic intentions are masked underneath a facade that they actually care and girls know this, but they dont care either.